A Sonnet to Annoying People

How do you annoy me? Let me count the ways.

When you yakkity-yak-yak it up on your cell phone during a movie that I've just paid ten bucks to HEAR. I mean, really? You can't go 2 hours without checking on what Tiffany's wearing to the football game????

When you unload a CART full of groceries on the 10 Items or Less aisle when I'm standing right behind you with my bag of chips and a sandwich. Oh, and I'm standing RIGHT UNDER the sign that says "Ten Items or Less." But that's totally okay because that sign is only there for everybody else, not special people like the moron with 37 items who decides to write a check.

When you think it's good business to start a phone transaction with "Press 1 for English" and I'm a native-born American who happens to be making a call in AMERICA, which the last time I checked, is an ENGLISH-speaking country. And then, as if you haven't insulted me enough, now I must punch a gazillion numbers to talk to an actual, live person, who happens to be some Pakistani who greets me with, "Gud Morneeng." At least, I think that's what he's saying. But who really knows, except other PAKISTANIS????

You people annoy me to the limits my soul can reach. And I wouldn't be at all surprised if you continued to annoy me after death.